i can’t tell what this is

-

something so deep and dark 

i can't point my finger

to what lingers 

when you cross my mind


i haven't had you up there

or down here

you hadn't been worthy

of my thoughts 


it had seemed like forever ago

yet you still 

plunge your way 

into our lives


you're like a bad dream

the sour soup

the dullest shade

black, disappointment


hope, we filled you 

honey we tried 

i tried

to make you see


so many feelings

i can't tell what it is

it's everything at once

i hate you for it 


i'm only 20

you ruined my life

you messed us up

you're a mess yourself 


waltzing in 

grin on your face 

"look at my beautiful life"

"they make me happier" 


i couldn't ever see 

a future with you in it

now it's certain

you confirmed it

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