along with the rest of the world's imprisonment, came my very own customised torment, returning home sounded enticing i should have known, it was just false advertising i've always been able to keep my demons at bay preesh? nah, she's okay i drink from a 500mL containing it all feels like hell its been two solid years i can't seem to hold back tears each day getting worse than the last clearly still affected by the past i'm out here, just another day all smiles, nothing to say this is the place I feel out loud this is the place I feel alive.
how does one see another? a human? entitled to their own thoughts and rights of life don't you find it impossible to sit still and stay quiet does it not press on your chest when you don't say a word how does one hurt another? a person, who means the world to another and is someone's mother is it not a matter of extreme importance when humans start to harm each other and the higher power does not bother? how do you stand tall and strong unfazed by the disgusts that go on in the world your loved ones live in its not okay to be okay when humanity is falling apart when all faith is lost
i often wonder what motivates the way i do things could it be the life i want to have or the life i never had do i genuinely want to be happy or do i let myself believe that it makes me happy i notice i push harder when life is tougher when i'm at my lowest and i figured it out this self destructive, self sabotaging dysfunctional part of me that decides pain drives me and further inflicts pain even when it doesn't hurt so imagine tearing yourself down thinking it helps you get better fuck this sleep makes everything better music heals time is not a friend contentment is a myth
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