self-destruct
i often wonder what motivates the way i do things could it be the life i want to have or the life i never had do i genuinely want to be happy or do i let myself believe that it makes me happy i notice i push harder when life is tougher when i'm at my lowest and i figured it out this self destructive, self sabotaging dysfunctional part of me that decides pain drives me and further inflicts pain even when it doesn't hurt so imagine tearing yourself down thinking it helps you get better fuck this sleep makes everything better music heals time is not a friend contentment is a myth